Light bearers

Light bearer.

A dear friend of mine brought up these words as she told me of something that had been prophesied over her. For some reason, those words have stuck in my head and heart over the past few days. We always hear the words "You are the light of the world, a city on a hill." We hear about how we are God's image bearers. We hear we are His representatives here on earth. We hear the world is a dark place, desperately in need of the light of Christ, the light of the hope we have within us.

But how often do we really "get it."

I'm realizing a lot lately how much I "know." I grew up in church, I know the right answers. Someone says something I've heard before and my response is usually (mentally) "Yeah, I know, I know." But do I really?

Do I really grasp the concept of what it means to be a light bearer? Christ says to His disciples "You are the light of the world...let your light shine before men."

What does that really mean? We sing the little kids song "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." What does that mean?

I love the Lord of the Rings. When I hear the words "light bearer" I think of Frodo. Partially because he was a ring bearer, but mostly because of the picture of him holding the pure light of Earendil in the midst of the filth, darkness and evil of Shelob's lair.

I think that's a pretty good picture of how we look spiritually in our world. Or should look.

Picture with me your town. I'm in Eugene. One of the pagan capitals of the world. It's a dark place. There is death, decay, destruction and horror everywhere. Not to the naked eye. But put your spiritual eyes on with me here. Lives torn apart, lies believed and embraced, demons worshiped. Darkness, blindness, filth. Much like Shelob's lair. Snares, entanglements and webs everywhere. And we have an adversary. Who would much prefer that we leave his turf. And if he can keep us in the dark, he's got the upper hand. He can lead us into anything, any web to take us out, if we can't see where we're going.

But we can see where we're going. Or, we should be able to see and discern where we're going.

We don't have the light of Earendil. But we have something even better and more powerful.

We have the light of Christ.

The light that reveals, guides and causes darkness to flee. The light that is pure, clean, healing and restoring. The light that keeps the enemy blinded and gives us the upper hand. Darkness cannot exist where there is light.

So in your world today, in your town, in your work, in your school, in your home- do not fear the darkness. Regardless of what destruction may be going on all around you, regardless of the hopelessness, regardless of the lies and evil all around. Do not fear. Do not give up. Do not give in. Do not allow your light to be belittled or extinguished. Cling to the hope of Christ. Let that hope drive you. It will shine out of you.

Though there is utter darkness everywhere, we do not walk as those who cannot see. Walk forward light-bearer.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -Ephesians 6:12

"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." -John 1:4-5

Wishing for perfection, living in grace

I wish I was perfect.

Ever feel that way? I hope I'm not the only one.

I find myself always caught up in this thought process: I wish I was perfect. But if I was perfect then I wouldn't need Christ. But I do need Christ, and I want to need Christ. But it's because of my imperfection that I need Him. If I was perfect, He wouldn't have had to suffer for me. But He did, because I'm not perfect.

I still wish I was perfect.

If I was perfect, I'd never say anything stupid, or mean, or out of place. I would never hurt anyone or let anyone down. No one would ever have to be disappointed in me or hurt by me.

I'm so performance-oriented. Maybe that's why I wish I was perfect. Perfection means never messing up which means never letting down. Always doing or saying the right thing.

I'm not perfect. I say stupid things. I hurt people. I am naturally selfish and self centered. I let people down. I speak when I shouldn't, and don't speak when I should. I fear change and loss. I allow my mind to go places it should not.

Today in the Romans and Galatians class I'm taking, we talked about justification and how it's a positional term. It comes through faith and is not reliant on works. Our works are a result of our justification, not the means by which we are justified.

I struggle grasping that. Our culture is so performance-based, our whole lives we are screamed at by the world to perform, perform, perform to gain acceptance. Wear this, do that, say this, don't say that, listen to this, watch this, be this way, follow this model if you want to be accepted out here. Especially for artists, our acceptance in the world is based on what we can do. Our culture values those who can contribute to society and has no sympathy for those who have nothing to bring to the table.

So opposite from the kingdom of God. God welcomes those who have nothing to bring, He searches those out. His heart is to justify those who cannot justify themselves (which is all of us).

I still wish I was perfect. I'm still being worked on. It's a process. Someday, in the next life, I will be made perfect. Until then, I am justified and perfected in the eyes of God and there is grace that covers all of me. Blood strong enough to cover my sin, grace sufficient to sustain.

"God, I've let you down so many times." "No. You were never holding Me up...in this relationship, I hold you up." -The Chisel Sketch

"For is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not works, lest anyone should boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9

"What I did was unforgivable." "What I did on the cross was to take what is unforgivable and make it forgivable." -"Grace" sketch

"I have a great need for Christ. I have a great Christ for my need." -C.H. Spurgeon

The Blessing of Momentum

I've started this post several times, looking for the perfect creative way to describe what is going on in my heart and mind right now. And I can't quite find it. So I am just going to say it plainly.

I love Momentum.

Our awesome dance team at a youth conference.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me explain. I get to be a part of an amazing team of creative and talented people. We call ourselves the Momentum Team. And we get to lead worship and use our creative giftings to glorify God and to point others to Him. We also get to do some traveling, to represent the school we all go to. We've been to numerous high schools and several summer camps and youth conferences. 

I love Momentum. 

"Ok, Corinne, that's nice, but what's the big deal?"

 The "Chisel" Sketch

There is something special about this team. We consist of musicians, singers, dancers and actors and somehow over the past few years we've become a family. I'm not sure quite how it's happened. We come from several states, we all have different backgrounds and church and family experiences. We have different giftings and we have different personalities. But somehow, through our love for God and our love for what we do, a team has been formed that is unlike any team I've been apart of. 

And really, why shouldn't we be this way? After traveling together, performing together, leading together, working together, spending lots and lots of time together, why shouldn't we be like a family? 

We are :) I don't know how else to say it, or how to explain it, but this is my Momentum family. 

I don't quite know why I'm blogging about this, other than to say this: God puts the right people in my life at the right times. I've always appreciated this team, but lately I've been realizing even more just what a blessing they are to me. They make me laugh, they stretch me and push me to be better than I am. They encourage me, they care about me and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world. My day automatically gets better after band practices and Momentum outings. 

Remember how I said that this blog would be dedicated to looking for God's love notes? Daily reminders of His love? The Momentum team is one of those for me. I realized after spending most of yesterday with them, that when I am around them, I have such a sense of delight and can feel God smiling down and whispering "This is a blessing from Me to you." God didn't have to put these people in my life, but He did. 

Momentum: "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until not. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of the grace...And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." -Philippians 1:3-7, 9-11

Some of our team in South Dakota for a youth camp this last summer.

Life, Love and God's Pursuit of Us.

So, I'm going to attempt my hand at blogging. This is kinda funny, cuz if you  know me at all, you know that I have a billion things going on in my life and me blogging right now means adding one more thing onto my schedule. As a music major with an 18 hour credit load, a work study job, taking piano lessons, teaching piano lessons, practicing and doing homework, there are definitely days that I wonder why in the world I am doing this.

This blog is going to be all over the place. My life is all over the place, as far as what I do, the moods I get in and the places I go. There is one thing though, that will resonate throughout this blog. That is my faith in Christ. I am not a perfect person. But that is why I need Christ. He is the reason I am alive today, and regardless of my current situation, mood, joy or frustration, His grace is what keeps me sane.

This brings me to the reason for the title of this blog.

Looking for His love notes.

I am convinced that God loves us with an everlasting love that pursues us. I am also convinced that He know the details of our lives and cares deeply about them. I am also convinced that since He is the one who created us, He knows the passions, desires, loves, likes, and dislikes of our hearts. He knows what makes our hearts beat faster, what makes us smile, what makes us laugh, what makes us cry, what moves us, what stirs us. Because of this, I am working to develop the habit of looking for what I call His love notes.

His loves notes could be anything at all that reminds me through out the day that He loves me. It could be a verse reminding me of His love. It could be a beautiful sunrise. It could be a light breeze playing with my hair on a sunny day (I like those). It could be someone in my life who gives a word of encouragement. Anything that God places in my path that reminds me of Him, His love and our relationship. Anything through which I hear Him whisper: "I love you."

I am going to be looking for His love notes on this blog. I am also going to be talking a lot about what is going on in my life. My hope is that this blog is a source of mutual encouragement: that you, the reader will be encouraged to know that you are not alone in the struggles and situations that you face, and I will be encouraged in the same thing as I hopefully get to read comments and responses from you.

My life is not perfect. There is going to be a lot of imperfection on this blog. But also a lot of God's grace and hope. And lots of looking for His love notes.