Why So Busy?

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

A wonderful week for college students. No papers, no reading, no classes. No pressure. No due dates. No homework. Nothing.

But, we normally fill the space with as much fun, "relaxing," stuff as we can.

As I'm heading into my spring break, I am pondering the question of why do we make ourselves soooo busy?

Because personally, my life right now is rather insane. You have no idea how happy I am to be on break right now.

When someone asks me how things are going, I usually respond in one of two ways:
1). Busy!
2). Crazy busy!

When someone asks how I am doing, I have two rehearsed answers, either one of which may apply at any moment:
1). Good
2). Tired

I'm guessing I'm not alone in this. In fact, I know I'm not alone in this. Maybe it's just a Bible college thing, but the majority of my friends usually find themselves in this place as well.

So I am asking, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we cram so much into our lives?

I am especially asking this question because I myself have a habit of cramming as much as possible into my life. And going and going and going and going till I have run myself to the ground. As many credits as possible, as many music opportunities as possible, as many jobs as possible, as many leadership opportunities as possible...and this results in as much homework as possible, as few free weekends as possible, as much muisc practice as possible, and as little sleep as possible.

Why?

What it is about being busy?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't think we're just supposed to sit around doing nothing all day. We are supposed to work and do things and be productive. It's good to do things and to "have a life," if you will. And we fill our lives with good things! School and church and bible studies and extra curricular activites and jobs and friends and families...all really good things!

But why do we run around like chickens with our heads caught off?

Is anyone else asking this question? Does anyone else find themselves in the place of utter exhaustion, feeling like you have nothing left to give to anything or anybody? And does anyone else find themselves so busy, with so much scheduled into their day, that time at the feet of our Savior is compromised or done away with altogether? And does anyone else find that when they do have time to spend with Jesus, that it's hard to focus because there are a million other things calling out your name?

Why do we do this?

We all know the story of Martha and how Jesus chided her because she was so busy doing that she forogt to just be. To spend time at the feet of the Lord. We know that we aren't supposed to be like her, right?

So why do we still do it?

God dropped an answer for myself on me at church this morning. But it was very specific to me. I'm guessing we all make ourselves busy for different reasons. I may blog later this week about what God showed me about the state of my own heart, and some things that He has been showing me about this in general, but what about you? As I process this topic this week, would you join me? Can we examine our hearts together and honestly ask God, "why do I put so much into my life that I crowd You out?"

Because I'm pretty sure that while God intends us to be about His business, He never intended us to put so much into our lives that we end up putting Him to the side or wearing ourselves out so thin.

What do you think? Do you find yourself in this place sometimes? Is your life insane? Do you have time for Jesus?

Saying Goodbye

I hate saying goodbye.

I really do.

But somehow I seem to be in a season of goodbyes. And this specific season will probably last at least another year. And I am dreading it.

Allow me to explain.

I am in my junior year of college. Which means a). That I have dear friends graduating this year and b). That I will be graduating next year. So, saying goodbye to those leaving me this year and saying goodbye to those I'll leave next year.

But, graduation hasn't happened yet! I still have a few weeks.

Oh wait, I still have a goodbye to say tomorrow.

*Sigh* You know those people who somehow just get a hold of your heartstrings? There's just something about them, they have a way of stealing your heart in some fashion. I have a habit of "adopting" such people. I have a whole slew of adopted little brothers and sisters.

Three of these "adopted" kids happen to also be my actual brother's best friends.

Aren't they precious? They're two years younger than me and I've known them for years. And ever since they entered high school and we were all in youth group together, they've been my little brothers. I've gone to Mexico with them, gone on dozens of youth group outings and attended hundreds of youth group bible studies with them. I've worked with a couple of them on worship teams and have pushed at least of one them to grow beyond their comfort zone. Our families have gone camping together, we've hung out so many times. And even after beginning college and being around them less, they're those type of friends that you can just pick up where you left off with, no matter how many months have passed since you've last seen them. My little brothers.

Why am I bringing all this up?

Because one of them is moving. Across the United States. 

I hate saying goodbye. 

Even though I know that this is how it has to be, even though I know God will take care of this kid, even though I know this is just a part of life, and I know I'm being such a girly big sister, that doesn't change the fact that I hate goodbyes. All that knowledge doesn't change the fact that I feel incredibly sad. 

Why? I have no idea. If you figure it out, let me know.

Because this is just the beginning of the goodbyes that I will have to say even in the next year. This year alone I must say goodbye to an amazing teacher who is moving on to another school; I must say goodbye to a dear Montanan couple who have had a huge impact on my life; I must say goodbye to dear friends from Hawaii who brighten up my day; I must say goodbye to dozens of others who will be leaving and moving on. And next year at this time I will be getting ready to say goodbye to those who I will be leaving as I move on. 

So, how do you deal with goodbyes? How do you make the most of every moment, knowing it won't be forever? How do you go about saying goodbyes? How do you deal with pieces of your heart going all over the place with the people you have developed friendships with? 

I have previously not asked specifically for feedback on this blog, but if you would comment on these questions, I would love to hear what you have to say. I would mostly love to know that I'm not the only one that this happens to. Although I'm strange like that, so it wouldn't surprise me. 

How do you deal with saying goodbyes to dear friends? 

A God That Blesses When I'm Not Looking.

Can I just brag to you about my God for a minute?

He's so funny. He likes to do things for me when I least expect it.

Here's my current situation that brings this up:
The other day I got a part time job offer teaching at the Lesson Factory. I could use the extra money, and I enjoy teaching piano, so at first I was pretty excited. And, to be honest, it was kind of flattering to be not even graduated from college and to get this kind of opportunity.

However, after praying about it and seeking some counsel on it, I decided now was not the time. I really don't have the kind of time to put in that they were wanting, and I need more flexibility with my schedule. Long story short, I didn't take the job.

Remaining issue: I could still use some extra cash. I have a car that needs fixed and school to pay for. And no time to commit to a normal job.

Now, when I prayed about the Lesson Factory, I asked God for peace in whichever decision (yes or no) was right. And I said if this was from Him, great. I also said that if not, then I was going to trust Him to provide something else. Because, if I'm being really honest, I was a little scared that I was going to make a wrong decision and then doors would never open up there again. But I made my choice and let it go.

Here's the fun thing.

I clean for a super-sweet elderly lady every other weekend. Today happened to be one of those weekends. And she mentioned that a relative of mine was actually wondering if I could pick up some hours cleaning for her as well.

The great thing about this is that it would be on the weekend, which I can manage, and it would alternate with my other cleaning weekend, making so I don't have to reschedule anything or try to work around my already crazy life. It would fit perfectly into a spot I have and if I need that day off for something, it's easier to get it off than it would be working elsewhere at, say, the Lesson Factory.

Now, it's not as glamorous as teaching piano by any means. But that ok with me. If this works out, it gives me the few extra hours of a job that I need and it doesn't require me to give up anything else or set up expectations I can't commit to. It works for me.

And I was definitely not looking for anything.

Gotta love how God brings in those blessings when you're not looking.

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

Lost of times when you're not looking. :)