I really do.
But somehow I seem to be in a season of goodbyes. And this specific season will probably last at least another year. And I am dreading it.
Allow me to explain.
I am in my junior year of college. Which means a). That I have dear friends graduating this year and b). That I will be graduating next year. So, saying goodbye to those leaving me this year and saying goodbye to those I'll leave next year.
But, graduation hasn't happened yet! I still have a few weeks.
Oh wait, I still have a goodbye to say tomorrow.
*Sigh* You know those people who somehow just get a hold of your heartstrings? There's just something about them, they have a way of stealing your heart in some fashion. I have a habit of "adopting" such people. I have a whole slew of adopted little brothers and sisters.
Three of these "adopted" kids happen to also be my actual brother's best friends.
Aren't they precious? They're two years younger than me and I've known them for years. And ever since they entered high school and we were all in youth group together, they've been my little brothers. I've gone to Mexico with them, gone on dozens of youth group outings and attended hundreds of youth group bible studies with them. I've worked with a couple of them on worship teams and have pushed at least of one them to grow beyond their comfort zone. Our families have gone camping together, we've hung out so many times. And even after beginning college and being around them less, they're those type of friends that you can just pick up where you left off with, no matter how many months have passed since you've last seen them. My little brothers.
Why am I bringing all this up?
Because one of them is moving. Across the United States.
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I hate saying goodbye.
Even though I know that this is how it has to be, even though I know God will take care of this kid, even though I know this is just a part of life, and I know I'm being such a girly big sister, that doesn't change the fact that I hate goodbyes. All that knowledge doesn't change the fact that I feel incredibly sad.
Why? I have no idea. If you figure it out, let me know.
Because this is just the beginning of the goodbyes that I will have to say even in the next year. This year alone I must say goodbye to an amazing teacher who is moving on to another school; I must say goodbye to a dear Montanan couple who have had a huge impact on my life; I must say goodbye to dear friends from Hawaii who brighten up my day; I must say goodbye to dozens of others who will be leaving and moving on. And next year at this time I will be getting ready to say goodbye to those who I will be leaving as I move on.
So, how do you deal with goodbyes? How do you make the most of every moment, knowing it won't be forever? How do you go about saying goodbyes? How do you deal with pieces of your heart going all over the place with the people you have developed friendships with?
I have previously not asked specifically for feedback on this blog, but if you would comment on these questions, I would love to hear what you have to say. I would mostly love to know that I'm not the only one that this happens to. Although I'm strange like that, so it wouldn't surprise me.
How do you deal with saying goodbyes to dear friends?
Hi Corrine,
ReplyDeleteYes, Goodbyes are difficult. Sad. Bittersweet. Tragic. Sometimes happy. How could a single moment or act carry such a mixture of different emotions??
And yet--goodbyes are one of those important things in life we all have to and will inevitably experience in life. Goodbyes help remind us to enjoy and make use of every minute and moment we have with those we love and with whom God has placed in our lives. As a quote says, "Don't be sad that it's over, but be grateful it happened."
For me personally, I heard a friend once said, "It's not goodbye, but 'until again' ."
"Until Again."
For those friendships and relationships where I have to temporarily say goodbye, I treat it as "until again." Because there is the expectation and hope that we will see again--our paths will cross again in the future.
Yes, I cry too after saying goodbye. Sometimes heavily. But as the great wizard Gandalf once said, " I will not say 'do not weep' because all tears are not evil." I'm not afraid to cry even if my friends say its girly because 1) I am human and to feel is natural and to cry is natural and 2) goodbyes and bittersweet things are important for growth.
In order to grow and for those whom you love to grow, sometimes goodbye is vital. Like:
Saying goodbye to my mom and family when I flew to NHCC miles away from home.
Saying goodbye to a moving college buddy who I consider my Big Brother.
All these moments were sad and bittersweet at the time. But looking at the whole picture, I was able to grow more as a person as a result.
One to note is that towards the end of the goodbye, I tend to become almost paralyzed with fear, worry ,regret, sadness--which in turn can affect how I spend the last moments of friendship with someone. One thing I'd like to encourage for you Corrine is to just enjoy the last moments with those whom you say goodbye too. And know that it's not a goodbye, but
"Until again."
Zach O.
Thanks so much Zach! Loved reading these comments. It's true that goodbyes are often necessary for growth and that they are a part of life. Allowing God to put peace alongside the sorrow and thus make it not quite so painful I think helps aid the process. And as Pastor Gary Emery said in church this morning, God's peace comes when we ask Him to influence those areas we have no control over.
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